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changing lightbulb

There was a facebook conversation which began by Rachel Marszalek saying:

It takes 15 Anglicans to change a light bulb: one to do the work and the other 14 to stand around saying how much they preferred the old bulb!

To which Alasdair Kay responded:

actually what would happen is the standing committee would bat the light bulb change to the pcc who would refer the matter to the deanery synod. Deanery synod would refer it to house of laity and house of clergy in turn. The report of the light bulb change will need to pass in front of the arch deacon for his comments who will of course refer it to the parsonages committee. However as this is a fresh expression of lightbulb a bishops missional order might be set in place. However as the light bulb change is in a forward in faith parish this can’t happen as it is proposed that a women change the lightbulb and we can’t have nything in the parish that has been changed y a women. therefore it needs to go before the diocesan team to be discussed with the Bishops team who may refer the lightbulb change to general synod via the fresh expressions team.

At this point the finance department will be ensuring that the light bulbs are ordered through at least three suppliers and that only those competently ( male and ordained ) lightbulb changers will indeed change the lightbulb. Chapter will …at this time order a report from St Johns college on the epistemology of lightbulb changes and the greek root of the word change. This will kick start a splinter within the charismatics who will say we only have and need one source of power and Reform will insist that only exclusive lightbulbs that adhere to the 39 articles of lightbulb will be allowed and that they will boycott and withhold parish share on lightbulbs if the lightbulb isn’t adequately debated at synod…… then comes the complicated bit the American episcopalian lightbulbs pitch up at this point and express concern that male male lightbulb fittings aren’t adequately represented whereupon the African lightbulb changers storm out in disgust…. The communion is in turmoil and the forward in faith boys opt for Roman and Italian lightbulbs as the ordinariate lightbulbs are purer..

Meanwhile people who don’t go to church, have never heard of Jesus sit in darkness ………

I have their permission to put the above on this blog.
Rachel Marszalek blogs at Revising Reform
Alasdair Kay is the director of Derby City Mission and blogs at The Christian Hedonist

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8 thoughts on “changing lightbulb”

  1. No wonder people get confused in going to church. I do go to church and much of that is gobblydygook! Needs some one to come along with a new lightbulb, tell everyone they’re being silly and just plug it in…! Or…?!

  2. And once that light bulb is approved…what’s the liturgy for light bulb changing (repeat process to approve liturgy). How many times do we cense a light bulb? Or just get incensed.

  3. Now that we’re getting silly…

    Q. How many fellows of Trinity College, Cambridge, does it take to change a light bulb?

    A. What is change?

    (Applicable, of course, to any conservative group. Can’t really be applied to Anglicans: we’ve had at least one Reformation…)

  4. Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change!

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