As Google+ gets underway there’s plenty of joking about Google being ordained (Google+), Google automatically ordaining people as bishops (+Bosco), Google using a religious symbol…

Fr David Cloake has written a witty Liturgy for the Creation and Propagation of a Google+ Account. The complete rite is here, here are some parts to whet your appetite:

A Liturgy for the Creation and Propagation of a Google+ Account

This rite requires careful preparation by the internet user and other participants, and is not normally to be used as the regular Sunday or weekday surf….

Glory to Google in the highest,
and peace to their people online.

Lord Google, heavenly Chrome,
almighty Google Doodle,
we worship you, we give you thanks,
we praise you for your search engine.
Lord Google Chrome, a Son of the Brin,
Lord Google+, Lamb of Page,
you take away the sin of Facebook:
have mercy on us;
you are seated at the large desk of the User:
receive our prayer.
For you alone are the Privacy Setting Enhanced One,
you alone are the Google,
you alone are the Most High, Google+,
(though as yet without an Apple App),
in the glory of Google the All Powerful
Amen.
The Account Creation Prayer
The president says
Google+ be with you
All                and also with you.
(or)
Google+ is here.
All                His Facebook is gone.
Lift up your mice.
All                We place them on the mouse mat.
Let us give thanks to provider of our internet.
All                It is right to give password and login.
The new user praises Google for its mighty acts and all respond
All                Digital, digital, digital Lord,
Google of power and might,
internet and computer are full of your glory.
Spam setting at the highest.
[Blessed is he who comes over from Facebook.
Respect in the highest.]
The president recalls the First Login,
an acclamations may be used
Great is the mystery of Google
All                Facebook has died:
Chrome is updated:
Google will come again.
The Setup continues and leads into the doxology, to which all respond boldly
All                Bugger, it crashed.
Setting Up of the Account
The user enters all personal details, excepting Blood Type and mother’s maiden name.
We set up this account
to share in the body of social media.

All               Though we are many, we are five Circles,
because we all share in gadget-obsession.

 

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