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Jesus is coming

Many are preparing assiduously for the Rapture on 21 May 2011 and the end on October 21, 2011

But Harold Camping, who has done this calculation, was wrong last time (when he said the end was to be in 1994) and unfortunately, beloved Bible-believer, he is wrong this time.

People have used similar calculating systems previously: William Miller in the 19th century predicted Jesus would return March 21, 1844. Nothing happened – he set a new date: October 22, 1844. When nothing happened, this became “The Great Disappointment”. A few faithful Millerites now reinterpreted this date to be when Christ entered into the Most Holy Place of the heavenly sanctuary, and with a bit of tinkering to the day of worship, Seventh Day Adventism was born. Edward Whisenant did the calculations and came up with 88 reasons why the rapture will be in 1988. It was read by hundreds of thousands. He got a number wrong and was going to republish as “89 reasons why the rapture will be in 1989” (I am seriously not making this up!), but changed the title to The Final Shout: Rapture Report.

Now. The principles are good, but the Maths has been bad. I have both a Maths and a Bible degree, so I’m almost uniquely positioned to get it right… this time…

Harold Camping has creation in 11,013 BC. But we all know that that the first day of creation began at nightfall preceding Sunday, October 23, 4004 BC, in the proleptic Julian calendar. In other words, Harold Camping has the universe 7,009 years too old!!! If all his other calculations are correct (and I haven’t checked all the details yet ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) then Harold Camping is out by 7,009 years! In conclusion: I predict the end of the world will be in 9,020 AD. I will rework Harold Camping’s calculations and please send me the money now ($US 5) for pre-sale discount on my forthcoming book “R4R Ready for Rapture – reasons aplenty to be ready for 9,020!”… Meanwhile, I suggest you keep investing in your pension scheme. I am.

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9 thoughts on “Jesus is coming”

  1. Oh, some folks are gonna misread that post on the whole, and you’ll be marked forever as a quite rabid religious kook by them.

    Where do I send the $5? Don’t you take NZ money?! …

    1. I am accepting to be marked forever as a quite rabid religious kook by anyone who misreads the post. Persecution and misunderstanding is part of the lot of a true believer. From my examples, I thought USA money would be easier to get, but I’ll accept any money and, unlike Camping, I promise to give it back if my prediction proves to be false ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. The simple answer to Harold Camping is from Our Lord’s own words: “Ye know not the day nor the hour.” It’s more than a little presumptuous of Mr. Camping to presume that he DOES know, is it not?

  3. Jules: precisely. I read more about about Harold Camping on Wikipedia and see how his teachings/doctrines deviate from most mainstream churches I know, so I think it’s pretty obvious what we’re dealing with.

    I’m quite in favour of demanding equally public apologies from failed foretellers of “prophecy”.

  4. What, Bosco? Your promise to give back our five dollars is unbiblical and unworthy! When (sorry “if”) your 9,020 prediction turns out wrong, you should repay four times, that’s twenty dollars!! Luke 19:8. ๐Ÿ™‚

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