My good (pathologist) e-friend at Kirkepiscatoid (and insightful commentor on this site) has given me permission to reproduce her delightful parallels between pathology and sermon writing:

The process:

1. Sermonating-you’re ruminating about it.
2. Sermonizing-you’re writing about it.
3. Sermonoplasty–after you’ve written it, you’re trimming and cutting and lifting it here and there to “make it pretty.”

Then, of course, I could not have this conversation without some “pathologic sermon-writing conditions”:

A. Sermonoconstipation….when you can’t think of a sermon.
B. Sermonorrhea-when you can write several.
C. Sermonoeructation-when you can burp one right up.
D. Dyssermonorrhea-when you have a great sermon in mind, but it’s the wrong text.
E. Dyssermonunea-when you write a sermon and it’s painful as hell and it’s supposed to be pleasurable.
F. Sermonograft-When you take an old sermon and take part of it and put some new stuff with it.
G. Sermonanastomosis–when you piece together two or more of your old sermons to make a new one.
H. Sermonoflatulence-When your sermon is just smelly air.

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